While leaving the hospital yesterday after Charlie’s post-op appointment, my face was hurting from so much smiling. It felt good to feel something I haven’t felt in a very long time. There’s not a word for it. It’s the feeling a parent has when she can breathe because the best case scenario for her son’s […]Read more "My Heart"
If it were just me, I might have trouble giving thanks at the moment. As a human, I’ve reached my max. I cannot take another day of seeing my son go pale with pain, or bare an oxygen level similar to before surgery while I wait for it to rise. But as Charlie’s mommy, it’s my […]Read more "Cank You, God"
I don’t like to cry. I refrain from doing it as much as possible. IF a tear escapes, it usually meets a hot and angered cheek before being hastily wiped away. I know crying isn’t a sign of weakness and many find it therapeutic. However, it often makes me feel worse and weaker. I’ve been […]Read more "No Tears Allowed"
Someone recently said I should buy a lottery ticket because my situation is due for a good change. It may be absurd, but with all of the current odds in my life that need to be beat, I see no need to add more. Besides, after selling a majority of my belongings and letting go […]Read more "How Many?"
I don’t know how to relax. I’m trying to master the art of being calm, but it seems to go against my nature. I came into the world with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck three times, and since then, life seems to find other ways to leave me struggling for breath. It’s hard […]Read more "Light at the End of the Tunnel"
An hour of fun in the sun and strawberry picking with my little guy left my cheeks sore from so much smiling. I relish in the moments that I don’t think about my son as a child with CHD, but rather, just Charlie. A boy with blond hair, blue eyes and brilliant mind. A lot […]Read more "Sunshine & Strawberries"
For the first time in 15 years, I am relieved of the pressure (finally) to provide a man with a sappy gift that may or may not make him internally cringe. Valentine’s Day is my least favorite holiday and has been since I can remember. It’s probably high up there for most men. Yet I […]Read more "Valentines, Schmalentines"