My Heart

While leaving the hospital yesterday after Charlie’s post-op appointment, my face was hurting from so much smiling. It felt good to feel something I haven’t felt in a very long time. There’s not a word for it. It’s the feeling a parent has when she can breathe because the best case scenario for her son’s […]

Read more "My Heart"

Cank You, God

If it were just me, I might have trouble giving thanks at the moment. As a human, I’ve reached my max. I cannot take another day of seeing my son go pale with pain, or bare an oxygen level similar to before surgery while I wait for it to rise. But as Charlie’s mommy, it’s my […]

Read more "Cank You, God"

No Tears Allowed

I don’t like to cry. I refrain from doing it as much as possible. IF a tear escapes, it usually meets a hot and angered cheek before being hastily wiped away. I know crying isn’t a sign of weakness and many find it therapeutic. However, it often makes me feel worse and weaker. I’ve been […]

Read more "No Tears Allowed"

How Many?

Someone recently said I should buy a lottery ticket because my situation is due for a good change. It may be absurd, but with all of the current odds in my life that need to be beat, I see no need to add more. Besides, after selling a majority of my belongings and letting go […]

Read more "How Many?"

Sunshine & Strawberries

An hour of fun in the sun and strawberry picking with my little guy left my cheeks sore from so much smiling. I relish in the moments that I don’t think about my son as a child with CHD, but rather, just Charlie. A boy with blond hair, blue eyes and brilliant mind. A lot […]

Read more "Sunshine & Strawberries"

Valentines, Schmalentines

For the first time in 15 years, I am relieved of the pressure (finally) to provide a man with a sappy gift that may or may not make him internally cringe. Valentine’s Day is my least favorite holiday and has been since I can remember. It’s probably high up there for most men. Yet I […]

Read more "Valentines, Schmalentines"